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  • Writer's pictureMarianne Wieland

Sight, Vision, and The Platinum Rule

On my mind tonight is our 'sight' or 'vision' if you will. I am not talking about how well we see with or without glasses, but how we view our lives, the lives of others and, in general, the world. How we view our relationships and friendships are very complicated things. There is the relationship between a man and a woman, husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend. Parents and children. Brothers and sisters. Employers and employees. How women interact with their female friends. How men interact with their male friends. Male and female platonic friends, and the newest breed, social media 'friends.'

I have studied human nature most of my life, counseled many, and taught communication styles to a lot of employees and friends. Learning how to treat and interact with others is an art. Most will say to 'follow the Golden Rule' which is to treat others how you would like to be treated. Really??? Those of you with multiple children may agree with me on this, or not. I like to follow the 'Platinum Rule' which is to treat others the way THEY want to be treated. I will briefly explain.

When I was the 'boss' in some of my jobs, I had several employees. If there was a problem that needed to be addressed, how I presented it made a world of difference and would make or break the outcome. Some wore their hearts on their sleeves, some were regimented and constantly 'on task'. Others were outgoing and looking for the fun in their work. Others needed control. Always to be right. The work needed to be corrected and policy followed for everyone. But I could go to the 'on task' people and say 'this is wrong. You know it has to be fixed. I need you to fix it by such and such time. They had a task and a goal. I wasted little of their time.

If I did that to the 'hearts' people, I could expect tears as they would have received the information as a personal attack. I would approach it differently. "That is a great picture of your son. I love it. Could you help me out and take a look at this? Something looks off. See right here? I know you can help me out and fix it." I have made it personal and complimented their child. I also asked for their help. And they will fix it. Time consuming, but with better production in the end.

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