There are so many thoughts that run through my head during the night. There is a lot I can't make sense of. Most of us have been through hardships in our lives at one time or another, faced the hardship together or alone, and come out on the other side with a better perspective. But it hasn't happened that way for us all. Some of us are left with regrets or wondering if we ourselves might be the real problem. Questioning the choices we have made and wishing we had done things differently.
I have always been strong. Able to withstand a lot of pressure. But sometimes I feel lost. Like the shifting of light into a darker place. And in the midst of it all, I can't help wondering what I could have done differently. Maybe if I were prettier, thinner, shorter, quieter, louder, smarter, and the list goes on.
Those of you that know me and my situation will have some advice as friends usually do. And I can always use some insight. Even from those who don't really know me. But I can't help but wonder, is the real problem me? Maybe I am just too tired and not thinking straight. I have made some new friends and that has been a blessing. I miss some old friends. That is painful. I am on a quest that I plan to continue and any of you that want to come along, I welcome the company.